By Russell L. Powers · May 2, 2026 · Personal Story

From Chaos to Conscious Creation

Why I wrote Reality by Design — and the moment that changed everything.

The moment that changed everything happened at twenty-seven, when I had finally run out of places to hide.

By that age, I had tried everything to escape the chaos in my mind. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, codependency — anything to turn down the volume. I used to describe my mental state as three radio stations and two TVs all playing at once, and I'd do whatever it took to make it stop.

A failed marriage. A lost business opportunity. Jail. Homelessness.

I moved from city to city trying to outrun myself, but no matter where I went, there I was.

I was always mad at the world for what it was doing to me, completely failing to see that I was doing it to myself. I was terminally negative, constantly doubting myself. The critical self-talk and the endless replaying of past events were constant companions I couldn't escape.

Then came the moment that changed everything.

The Surrender

Alone, broken, and out of options, I cried out to God and surrendered completely. For the first time in my life, I asked for real help.

Within two hours, I was on my way to detox at my parents' house, shaking violently in an upstairs bedroom for a week, terrified but certain something had shifted.

For the first time since I was thirteen, I believed I might actually make it.

The next few years in recovery rebuilt me. Through the 12 steps and the men who mentored me, I got sober and stayed sober. I met my wife Shelley after eight months. I bought the business I'd once lost. I built a family — three sons I adore more than anything in this world.

From the outside, I had the dream life.

But inside, I was still struggling.

The Pattern That Wouldn't Break

The anger that had plagued me since I was thirteen wouldn't let go. I was lying to my wife about money and gambling, vaping behind her back, repeating old patterns with new "substances."

Even worse, I was my own worst enemy — beating myself up with relentless negative self-talk. My mind was a constant battleground of thoughts about why I wasn't good enough, why I didn't deserve the life I had, why everything would eventually fall apart.

Six years sober with everything I'd ever dreamed of, and I was still a wreck internally, still creating problems.

My wife gave me an ultimatum: counseling or divorce.

For two years, a skilled counselor pulled things out of me I didn't know were there — things I didn't realize were crushing me that I had been holding onto since I was a kid, buried deep inside. The work was exhausting and transformative.

When the sessions ended, I was terrified to be without the counselor there to guide me. I'd seemed to always mess things up before, given enough time.

The Relapse That Led to Transformation

Shortly after counseling ended, I relapsed into vaping. Full of fear and unable to tell my wife, I hid it from her and fell back into dishonesty.

This time, I sought out different help — a hypnotherapist. Around the same time, I'd started exploring meditation as a way to quiet my relentless mind. During a month-long meditation challenge with a friend, I had a profound experience that opened my eyes to what meditation could offer.

The synchronicities were impossible to ignore — the hypnotherapist practiced meditation, mindfulness, and breathwork, exactly what I'd been discovering on my own.

That's when I encountered Joe Dispenza's work.

From that moment, my life truly began to transform.

The Discovery

I dove deep into reality creation, manifestation, frequency, vibration, and consciousness. I built a library and consumed everything I could about meditation, yoga, mindfulness, and breathwork.

I studied the masters of thought — Joe Dispenza, Vadim Zeland, Napoleon Hill, Jim Rohn, Earl Nightingale, James Allen, Neville Goddard, among others — and began daily practices to transform myself.

I was desperate not to lose my marriage, my family, or my business.

And my life changed dramatically.

The anger began to dissolve.

The resentment against myself lifted.

The constant self-judgment quieted.

I learned that I emit my highest frequency when I'm being my authentic self, pursuing my true desires. Meditation and daily practice didn't just heal me — they healed my marriage and my family, building on what the counselor had started years before.

I discovered that I could change. That I could create the life I wanted if I was willing to follow simple direction and apply daily disciplined action.

Why I Had to Write This Book

I started writing these practices as a guide for my three sons — something to go along with the running document in my phone I first termed "Dad's Rules for Life" (or as I later called it, "Dad's Learned the Hard Way List").

After discovering the teachings that transformed my life, I wanted to give them something I never had — a map. A guide. The keys to creating their own reality without having to learn everything through chaos and pain like I did.

I wanted to combine all the wisdom from the teachers who saved me into one place they could return to again and again. An operating system for life. A practical guide to becoming their authentic selves.

But as I wrote, something else emerged. The book became bigger than just a gift to my sons. It became a way to pay forward what had been given to me.

Recovery taught me that helping others and being of service are critical to my own journey. The 12 step program showed me that what I've been given isn't meant to be kept — it's meant to be passed on. When one person helps another, both are healed.

So I wrote this to gather all the practices that helped to transform me — not just for my boys, but for anyone who needs what I needed. If your life and mind improve even a fraction of how mine has, then every hour spent writing was worth it.

Here's what I learned: one reading isn't enough. I needed constant reminders and repetition to change. The same principles had to show up again and again until they became part of me.

This book is designed that way intentionally. The most critical principles repeat throughout, over and over, because repetition is how transformation happened for me. This isn't just a collection of ideas — it's a daily practice system designed to rewire your thinking through consistent repetition.

What Makes Reality by Design Different

Today, as a recovered alcoholic certified holistic life coach, I work with people navigating similar transformations. I've seen firsthand how powerful these principles are when applied consistently with support and accountability.

I'm building a community where we can interact, support each other, and navigate this journey together. Because while transformation is personal work, it doesn't have to be done alone.

As Itzhak Bentov said:

"I speak from my present level of ignorance. The more you know, the more ignorant you become, because ignorance grows exponentially — the more answers you get, the more new questions arise."
— Itzhak Bentov

I'm still learning. I'm still growing. I'm still discovering how much I don't know.

But what I do know is this:

We can change.

We can create the life we want.

We can heal our minds, our relationships, and our reality.

It requires willingness, simple direction, and daily discipline.

The masters who came before us illuminated the path. Reality by Design is my attempt to pass their light forward — 365 days of the practices that transformed my life, organized into a system that can transform yours.

Not overnight. Not through magic. Through consistent daily practice, one principle at a time.

Your transformation begins with a single thought, consciously chosen.

Ready to begin your transformation?

Take the first step today.

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Russell L. Powers

Certified Holistic Life Coach · Founder, Reality by Design Publishing

russell@realitybydesign.net